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Date: 02 October 2014

Today's Topic: New Airport Anti-terrorist Security Device

Triggers: An email from a friend

My Grump: To be fitted in all international airports as a matter of urgency

A new cutting edge airport security device is being trialled at Ben Gurion Airport near Tel Aviv, Israel.
New Airport Security Device Testing
This is a picture of the chamber design which has been described as a new way to deal with the problem of hidden explosives.

The Israelis have developed this brand new airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It is an armoured booth, designed to withstand the blast of high explosives.

Passengers checking in step into the device one at a time, which is perfectly safe for repeated use. There are no dangers as this device does not X-ray you or scan you with any other radioactive energy.

Instead, what it does is detonate any explosive device you may have anywhere on, or in, your person, or your luggage.
New Airport Security Device Working
Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of the problems associated with racial profiling. So we can all rest easy as there will be no one left to call you a rascist.

It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials, during which we make a bunch of lawyers rich, as they push for non-extradition and acquittal due to potential infringement of human rights because their client may have changed their mind and we didn't give them chance to say sorry.

Following a successful capture of explosive energy and the atomizing of said terrorist, cleaning is very straightforward. The operator at the side (here shown in blue uniform) simply begins the cleaning process with the press of a button.

Sprinklers clean the inner walls and chamber with high pressure jets. The operator then flushes away the debris, a bit like flushing the toilet. Now, I don't know why the idea of flushing terrorists down a toilet appeals to me, but it creates a very satisfying image and a high degree of closure on the matter.


If you are in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion, do not be alarmed. It is likely that shortly thereafter you will hear an announcement over the tannoy: "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al airlines is proud to announce a seat has become available on flight 670 to London.... Shalom!"


Production has started and these are to be fitted in all international airports within the next 12 months, which was great news to Jack Bauer who said recently that he needed a rest.

Please share your thoughts below, thank you.

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