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Date: 03 August 2014

Today's Topic: Dumb, Disasterous and Dangerous Packaging

Triggers: Experience at home

My Grump: The people who design this stuff need brain surgery

The finger slashing can lid All my adult life I've wanted to bring the people who design these dangerous packages to some kind of justice. The amount of blood spilt by these things would make the crusades look like a game of hop-scotch.

Most of the meat I eat has been well bled before I get to cook it, or eat it. So why would I want to substitute this with my own blood because of a little slip when removing the lid of a modern day tin can?
The cat tongue trap   The slippery oil fish can trap

The last bonkers item in my opinion, is this bottle of shampoo. Now we have put shampoo upside-down for years, most particularly when it is coming to the end of the pot, otherwise it takes ages waiting for the last little bit to drain down.
Falling down shampoo bottle
But the design usually meant that the upside-down base would balance the rest of the bottle. Not head and shoulders! I keep this in the shower but have to jamb it behind the riser rail of the shower head, otherwise it tips over everytime you try to balance it on this stupid little lid.

The last thing to talk about here are the dumb instructions on packaging, which is almost as dumb as some of the packaging itself. Here are some examples of dumb instructions and warnings.
  • On a packet of nuts: CONTAINS NUTS!
  • On a coffee cup - CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE HOT
  • On a bottle of shampoo, directions which read: WET HAIR
  • Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down
  • On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating
  • On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body
  • On children's cough syrup: Do not drive or operate machinery
  • On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness
  • On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
  • On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp
  • Microwave manual: Do not use for drying pets
  • On a bottle of baby lotion: Keep away from children
  • On a can of pepper spray: May irritate eyes
  • On a toaster: Do not use underwater
  • On a blowtorch: So not use for drying hair
  • On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer
  • On fish food: Warning: Not for human consumption
  • On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands
  • Hair dryer: Do not use in shower
  • On another Hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping
  • On a credit card statement: Payment is due by the due date

What dumb-ass instructions have you got on things in your cupboard?
I'm sure you also have packaging like this in your larder.
Please share your thoughts below, thank you.

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